Personal Blog~Sharon Stephens - Life Coach

A General Theory Of Love reveals that humans require social connection for optimal brain development, and that babies cared for in a loving environment are psychological and neurologically ‘immunized’ by love. When things get difficult in adult life, the neural wiring developed from a love-filled childhood leads to increased emotional resilience in adult life. Conversely, those who grow up in an environment where loving care is unstable or absent are less likely to be resilie nt in the face of emotional distress.   When two parents are not on the same page and children don’t have a sense of predictability, a routine they can depend on then they feel a sense of insecurity and anxiety will grow. If one parent is the playful one allowing fun and excitement and only occasionally as that parent is absent often, then they learn to desire that as an addiction. They want the imitation love of fun and excitement over the parent who may be trying to create the sense of real safety ...

There was a pivotal day in the life with my son when I knew I had changed long enough for him to know it.   The dynamic needed to now be equalized.     He kept wanting to take it out on me. I got in his face.   (with confidence)    I told him this:      “You don’t get to beat me up forever and be happy.   Learning to love another will make you happy and like it or not there will be things that you will never like about me and that is just tough.   I will make mistakes.   But one thing you know for sure is that I will always try.   So you were victimized.   You don’t get to act like a victim and punish me the rest of your life. If you want to do that, then we won’t have a relationship at all.   I am human and will make mistakes. I am not going to walk on eggshells anymore.”   He got it.   He grew up and learned to love. We cannot teach them to just feel loved.   We have ...

The Stars Above I watch over and over again in people’s lives “stars aligning” in a way that can give them the life they have always wanted.  And yet while I can see it and I can tell they can see it too, they run.  They run from the very thing that they want.  They want a way through.  But they are afraid.  They want easy or they want safe.  None of these are possible as they are all an illusion. They have tried everything in the world from sex, money, flirting with danger, pills, rehab, driving fast, endless therapy, anger and shoplifting.  But I will be "gosh darned" if they choose happiness as their first pick.  Why?  Most people have never felt that.  They feel the empty hole of love lost and days gone by.   The hardest thing for a human to learn to do is sit with the pain of our past and meet it head on.  Not because it’s such a scary thing because our brain fights against it.  Our brain will actually ...

If it sounds like, smells like, looks like, it probably is! Question: If I am choosing to look at, get loved around and heal my core stuff as well as create a higher vibration then there is an intersection where 2 people may no longer align. I can still love them and not choose to be with that energy. So the question is why would one subject themselves to the repulsive vibration again?  Answer: Two ways to heal. Independent of anything that will obstruct the core healing is removed. Unloving atmosphere and our own unloving ways we medicate our pain. Most people do need to do this first. You will not learn to be loving and heal the remaining until you are actually in an intimate relationship, to heal the rest. Anything you find repulsive is a gift for you to go deeper in seeing that your capacity to love is blocked by your own wounds. So yes some people need to heal enough and get rid of enough fear and blame first before they get into a relationship. If yo...

Self-Love: 10 Keys By Joyce Marter, LCPC Comments in Sarcasm….by Sharon Winningham I got a call the other day and the woman asked, “Can you please tell me where self-love comes into the teaching of unconditional love in our lives? We don’t talk about it a lot and I am really confused.” I was reading an article today that talked about how much happier you would be if you could love yourself. As this is completely true, most of us are so stuck in the pain and fears from the past that there is no way for us to even know how to do this, what it looks like or how to perform it for ourselves. Yes do we need to love ourselves? Yes, it’s kind of the goal untimately. But we need to have it modeled for us somewhere first before we can do it for ourselves. Well in pop psychology, they give some “steps” to take. All really valuable. But when I read them I get thoughts that come up. And I though I would share them with you. The article gave some really useful tips. The problem i...

  High Heel Foot Prints I met an older Polish woman in a blood lab of all places.  I was waiting to get some blood drawn.  She was very elegant, although her body had clearly shown signs of the years gone by.  Much as you can imagine by the image shown here.  Her whole body was failing her.  She had on very fashionable clothes with a glitzy hair comb in her hair.  You could tell that she tool a lot of pride in her looks as her make up was applied with great care.  He outfit was stunning.  She walked with a cane and sat down across the room from me.  I noticed that she kept staring at me.  I was dressed up with makeup on and in high heels, a long skirt and a top that made me look very curvy and classy.  I was reading a magazine and she whispered to me, "miss, miss.....you are very beautiful, so beautiful".   I thanked her and moved across the room to speak to her.  I sat next to her and she admi...

The Meaning of 70x7 The name 70x7 is synonymous with God's eternal forgiveness. Matthew 18:21-22 in the new King James version of the Bible reads: Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." How do you use this as a spiritual practice?  Does the action of practice help us get closer to feeling loving and forgiving?  For me it's an ongoing journey.  If you think you do not have any un-forgiveness, stop and re-think that.  This is something that makes me stop and think "ouch", I still have some unloving thoughts at times about others.    David and I both wear these bracelets.  They are a practice tool for us to remember to use this principle to honor those places in us that struggle.  Un-forgiveness hurts my heart.  So when I have a judgment come up for me...