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Showing posts from 2014

Feelings..nothing more than feelings!

I have never been able to really express it in words what it is like to go deep and really feel.   There is nothing wrong.   About three years ago Taylor and I got divorced.   Instead of putting the pictures away, I used our wedding video to practice feeling, because it was one of the happiest days of my life and I wanted it to stay that way.   I really did not want it to turn into something "bad".   Our whole relationship is a grand lesson and I loved every minute of it.      So I learned to really feel without any fear of it.   I go deep and just experience all feelings at a deep level.   I learned by practicing that none of it hurt me, but made me a woman of depth.   I could hold more of the world in my heart.   So what drove me nuts is when I would share and cry people would say things like "it will be ok", as If something was wrong.   I don't see duality, as right or wrong, good or bad, just is....just feelings.   So I would not share.   Recentl

Blood and Guts!

I had blood drawn this morning.  I have always been terrified of needles.  So instead of going to fear, while she was drawing 5 tubes, I just sat there.  I said Sharon what is this for you, where did this come from.  I know when I go deep to feel it, I will have something come up that will be painful.  But I have learned to sit with it, go to the feelings and let it come up so I can move through it.  Tears started to pour down my cheeks.  The lady asked me if I was ok.  You see the world thinks that feeling is something bad.  Nope, I just feel.  And When I do, it moves me .     It moves through me.   Here is what I get to feel.  The pain of when I was a child.  I passed out once when my mom had blood drawn.  I was 8.  She had huge tubes drawn.  ( and I remembered the story) but never as deep as this morning.  Because I choose to ask "Sharon, go deep.... what is it? keep going"..... the memory came.     Softly it came.  I remember that my mom was always sick.