Personal Blog~Sharon Stephens - Life Coach

The love we fail to share is the only pain we live with.    My partner and I have had one major issue lingering over us for many years.   We both have been so confused and hurt that we withdrew from the topic completely both feeling afraid of the other.   Wounded and confused by the others actions we had a truce of no communication around it.  But a truce is nothing more than pain put on hold.     Being afraid to talk to your partner about a topic can be very painful and if it lasts it can wear deeply on a relationship.     My partner decided to broach the subject with me and kept repeating that he wanted to bridge this gap.   I noticed my brain kept wanting to defend that truth.   For years I believed something different.   As I listened to the commitment from my partner something snapped.   But it took 24 hours to process the change.     I had lived in this topic for so long believing I was a victim to a lie.   My partner was just afraid.   And I couldn’t see i

Uncoupling – DIVORCE – the end?   Or a Sacred Journey? Let me makes this perfectly clear. There is always sadness when something had to end.   People often talk about the five  stages of grief  – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.  Get over it.   You are human and so am I. You are going to feel it all!     It’s been proven that we move through these stages and also predictable that we struggle to move through them, afraid of what is to come.     We may want to negotiate and cling staying in the loop of not moving forward.     Bottom line is that we are just trying to stave off having to be sad and move on.   We are afraid of the feelings and afraid of the future.   I just want to say one thing today. Most of us have had hellacious relationships and bad endings.   But just because something ends, it doesn’t mean it’s a horrendous ending.   We grow in every relationship and sometimes it’s time to move on.   Consciously we can do it with lo

What is a Sacred Clown?   Every native tribe of Indians had a position of “scared clown”.   This position was held on high.   Someone who would taunt and tantalize your insides to go within to see what was left to heal.   They all had different names for them, but they all had them.   From north all the way to south America they all had them.   Everyone hoped that the sacred clown would come to them so they could grow.   What a healthy alternative to medicating pain.   Sacred Warrior. To Native Americans, the path of the Sacred Clown is ALSO considered a spiritual calling, essential to the smooth functioning of the tribe: In the days before the invaders came. . .we had clowns. Not clowns like you see now, with round red noses and baggy costumes. Our clowns wore all kinds of stuff. Anythin’ they felt like, they wore. And they didn’t just come out once in a while to act silly and make people laugh, our clowns were with us all the time, as important to the village as the c

Question?   Just to run something by you and be seen.   I get a lot out of the fellowship from 12 step meetings but in my heart and gut something doesn’t feel right. They want me to admit that I have a disease and I’m powerless over it. I don’t really believe that. Feels like victimhood. Thoughts? Every faith tradition, sacred text, healing modality and 12 step teaching all have elements that can be translated as the same.   It’s either about love or fear, the two powers that either heal or destroy. If you take a little time to translate the meaning then you will see they all are saying the same things.   Truth really is truth just as electricity always works the same.   Sometimes what stumps us is the meaning of words that have been used in a harmful way towards us and we reject the truth that is in that system, modality or teaching.   Twelve step programs do have a languaging that is hard for some of us in Loving-groups.   We do not believe we are powerless over

Mass shootings and Facebook   Why bother when we just keep fighting?  Isn't there a lesson in there somewhere?  Duh?   What is the purpose of staying "in the conversation"? Collectively, If we are in the mind frame of wanting more goodness to emerge then being in the conversation may help us in our collective consciousness find the answers together. If we can get past the emotional REACTIONS to just hearing and having curiosity for others opinions, we can find similarities and answers. We are all wanting peace, safety and security for all. If we will just stop the hatred in the conversation and actually have more curiosity for what the other is saying we just might find answers vs conflict. Take a check on yourself while you are posting. Do you just want a fight or do you really want real solutions? Being at war never really served anyone. But remember one thing, if you grew up fighting for your good and never consciously wanted to change that and rewire your brain

Most of us at one time or another have been faced with the idea of “I am single…AGAIN!” With divorce rates in the toilet and the blame game running rampant, most people have turned to friends, colleagues, parents, grandparents and even expensive dating professional match making companies for advice. And you know what? Most people are still stumped, dumbfounded and deeply discouraged.   We are met with all kinds of advice including an old favorite book I read years ago call “The Rules”. In the book it lists 35 rules that women who want “marriage, in the shortest time possible” are supposed to follow. As a blogger, Kristin Warkentin , wrote in her blog, “that  written in the 1990’s, it included  advice that was both basic and whimsical, like advice from a well-meaning but slightly unhinged 90-year-old great aunt, offering one of those “pep talks” that actually make you feel worse, rather than better. (“Well you’re no Angelina Jolie, dear, but with the right wardrobe, a more feminine