Skip to main content

Feelings..nothing more than feelings!



I have never been able to really express it in words what it is like to go deep and really feel.  There is nothing wrong.  About three years ago Taylor and I got divorced.  Instead of putting the pictures away, I used our wedding video to practice feeling, because it was one of the happiest days of my life and I wanted it to stay that way.  I really did not want it to turn into something "bad".  Our whole relationship is a grand lesson and I loved every minute of it.   

So I learned to really feel without any fear of it.  I go deep and just experience all feelings at a deep level.  I learned by practicing that none of it hurt me, but made me a woman of depth.  I could hold more of the world in my heart. 

So what drove me nuts is when I would share and cry people would say things like "it will be ok", as If something was wrong.  I don't see duality, as right or wrong, good or bad, just is....just feelings.  So I would not share.  Recently on facebook I posted that I cried because Shane is moving to Guam.  Why would I not cry?  It's not tears of grief.  It's just feelings.  Of course.  Beautiful feelings.  He is flying!  Flying!  And mixed emotions run and play and run and play...and oh what a beautiful life, when I feel all of that.  But some people told me that it will be "ok".....and that still bothered me.  I guess it's because being vulnerable somehow means you are drowning.  Ugh!  Right...... 

I am so thankful for it all.   

Sharon 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Listen up Kid!

There was a pivotal day in the life with my son when I knew I had changed long enough for him to know it.   The dynamic needed to now be equalized.     He kept wanting to take it out on me. I got in his face.   (with confidence)    I told him this:      “You don’t get to beat me up forever and be happy.   Learning to love another will make you happy and like it or not there will be things that you will never like about me and that is just tough.   I will make mistakes.   But one thing you know for sure is that I will always try.   So you were victimized.   You don’t get to act like a victim and punish me the rest of your life. If you want to do that, then we won’t have a relationship at all.   I am human and will make mistakes. I am not going to walk on eggshells anymore.”   He got it.   He grew up and learned to love. We cannot teach them to just feel loved.   We have ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Spritual Oneness

I am truly one in God with my partner.  There is no separation  between us in the good, bad, or the ugly.  There is so much beauty in the conflict we share.  Sometimes it's cutting, sometimes is slight, and sometimes is just down right stupid.  But the beauty of this dance is while I sit in the midst of chaos of misunderstandings and behaviors driven by perceived pain, I find peace.  I hear a higher calling for my goodness.  I hear the whisper of God every day, telling me that this is releasing me from the pain of my past and is calling me to a higher faith.  I recall 18 years ago Reverend Michelle did a sermon and spoke to my heart and changed my life.  She spoke of duality that is created by the pain in our minds.  She said there is no such thing as good or bad happenings in our lives, but everything has singleness of purpose, everything is for our higher good, God is in everything. She said, "It's not a freight train coming ...
2 comments
Read more

Mass Shootings

Mass shootings and Facebook   Why bother when we just keep fighting?  Isn't there a lesson in there somewhere?  Duh?   What is the purpose of staying "in the conversation"? Collectively, If we are in the mind frame of wanting more goodness to emerge then being in the conversation may help us in our collective consciousness find the answers together. If we can get past the emotional REACTIONS to just hearing and having curiosity for others opinions, we can find similarities and answers. We are all wanting peace, safety and security for all. If we will just stop the hatred in the conversation and actually have more curiosity for what the other is saying we just might find answers vs conflict. Take a check on yourself while you are posting. Do you just want a fight or do you really want real solutions? Being at war never really served anyone. But remember one thing, if you grew up fighting for your good and never consciously wanted to change that and re...
Post a Comment
Read more