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GUT-WRENCHING LOVE

 

Gut- Wrenching Love

 

I just listened to Jason Mraz’s song “Love is Still the Answer”.  I cried.  My heart wept and my eyes did a lot of leaking.  My heart is open wide.   And I remembered love.  Big Love.   I witnessed in the video all kinds of crazy, romantic, sexy, creative God-like love of beaches, nature, clouds, baby’s feet, sharing, a wedding, Gay love, Straight love, love of our children, painting, yoga, music, dancing, playfulness, ice-skating, biking, ballet, fireworks , old age love…well, you get the gist.  You should watch.  You too will cry and remember that love is still the answer. 

I am here to share that there was a moment in my life when I chose a different kind of love.  It’s the kind of love that is gut wrenching.  It’s the kind of love that you have to dig down deep into your worn torn heart and find the courage to do the right thing, to choose love. 

November before the Pandemic hit, I found my husband, whom I had just married two months prior, in bed with another woman.  I went into a trauma response inside my head and heart.  I asked them both to leave.  That is putting it mildly.  The amount of help I was going to need to heal was going to be big.  But I had chosen to practice love in all things almost all of my life.  Although I have not achieved anything that looks like perfection, I chose to love them both.  I believe that God/Love is in all things.


I helped them come back to my house and pack up his things and move out.  I hugged them both and said, “I wish you love and happiness”.  THAT ACT was love although I wasn’t feeling anything but the early stages of humiliation, retaliation and revenge.  Love is still the answer…

You see I knew that “Love is Still the Answer” in action.  My healing depended on me embracing my emotions, doing the right thing and knowing that the road ahead of me is always inside ME! 

Jason: “The question that sits on everyone’s lips is why should we pick ourselves up and start over again?”  And why chose love?  Because there is nothing else…

And I am worth it!

In the song, Jason talks about how we all make mistakes and we are not perfect yet.  I am still on that journey of loving me, loving the world and accepting my imperfections.

May you remember there will be times when you are not feeling it, but love is still the answer. 

So take a moment and dig down deep in your courage.  Is there someone you need to forgive? 

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