Skip to main content

GUT-WRENCHING LOVE

 

Gut- Wrenching Love

 

I just listened to Jason Mraz’s song “Love is Still the Answer”.  I cried.  My heart wept and my eyes did a lot of leaking.  My heart is open wide.   And I remembered love.  Big Love.   I witnessed in the video all kinds of crazy, romantic, sexy, creative God-like love of beaches, nature, clouds, baby’s feet, sharing, a wedding, Gay love, Straight love, love of our children, painting, yoga, music, dancing, playfulness, ice-skating, biking, ballet, fireworks , old age love…well, you get the gist.  You should watch.  You too will cry and remember that love is still the answer. 

I am here to share that there was a moment in my life when I chose a different kind of love.  It’s the kind of love that is gut wrenching.  It’s the kind of love that you have to dig down deep into your worn torn heart and find the courage to do the right thing, to choose love. 

November before the Pandemic hit, I found my husband, whom I had just married two months prior, in bed with another woman.  I went into a trauma response inside my head and heart.  I asked them both to leave.  That is putting it mildly.  The amount of help I was going to need to heal was going to be big.  But I had chosen to practice love in all things almost all of my life.  Although I have not achieved anything that looks like perfection, I chose to love them both.  I believe that God/Love is in all things.


I helped them come back to my house and pack up his things and move out.  I hugged them both and said, “I wish you love and happiness”.  THAT ACT was love although I wasn’t feeling anything but the early stages of humiliation, retaliation and revenge.  Love is still the answer…

You see I knew that “Love is Still the Answer” in action.  My healing depended on me embracing my emotions, doing the right thing and knowing that the road ahead of me is always inside ME! 

Jason: “The question that sits on everyone’s lips is why should we pick ourselves up and start over again?”  And why chose love?  Because there is nothing else…

And I am worth it!

In the song, Jason talks about how we all make mistakes and we are not perfect yet.  I am still on that journey of loving me, loving the world and accepting my imperfections.

May you remember there will be times when you are not feeling it, but love is still the answer. 

So take a moment and dig down deep in your courage.  Is there someone you need to forgive? 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Listen up Kid!

There was a pivotal day in the life with my son when I knew I had changed long enough for him to know it.   The dynamic needed to now be equalized.     He kept wanting to take it out on me. I got in his face.   (with confidence)    I told him this:      “You don’t get to beat me up forever and be happy.   Learning to love another will make you happy and like it or not there will be things that you will never like about me and that is just tough.   I will make mistakes.   But one thing you know for sure is that I will always try.   So you were victimized.   You don’t get to act like a victim and punish me the rest of your life. If you want to do that, then we won’t have a relationship at all.   I am human and will make mistakes. I am not going to walk on eggshells anymore.”   He got it.   He grew up and learned to love. We cannot teach them to just feel loved.   We have ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Spritual Oneness

I am truly one in God with my partner.  There is no separation  between us in the good, bad, or the ugly.  There is so much beauty in the conflict we share.  Sometimes it's cutting, sometimes is slight, and sometimes is just down right stupid.  But the beauty of this dance is while I sit in the midst of chaos of misunderstandings and behaviors driven by perceived pain, I find peace.  I hear a higher calling for my goodness.  I hear the whisper of God every day, telling me that this is releasing me from the pain of my past and is calling me to a higher faith.  I recall 18 years ago Reverend Michelle did a sermon and spoke to my heart and changed my life.  She spoke of duality that is created by the pain in our minds.  She said there is no such thing as good or bad happenings in our lives, but everything has singleness of purpose, everything is for our higher good, God is in everything. She said, "It's not a freight train coming ...
2 comments
Read more

CHAPTER THREE by Greg Baer

CHAPTER THREE THE THIRD PRINCIPLE OF PARENTING When I’m Angry, I’m Wrong Because of their age and inexperience, children are naturally inconvenient in so many ways: • They’re always spilling stuff, falling down, making messes, and getting involved in all manner of “accidents.” • When they get ready for school, clean their rooms, prepare for bed time, or do anything else involving a time limit, they move at a slow and erratic pace rarely compatible with our own schedules. • They’re often unable to perform even the simplest tasks without help or supervision. • They incessantly make unnecessary noises in a wide range of both volume and pitch. • Frequently they are unable to clearly communicate their needs. • When they do express their needs, they are often insistent and demanding. They have no patience. • Everything they do seems to cost money. When we don’t feel sufficiently loved ourselves, these innumerable inconveniences often become more tha...
2 comments
Read more