I am truly one in God with my partner. There is no separation between us in the good, bad, or the ugly. There is so much beauty in the conflict we share. Sometimes it's cutting, sometimes is slight, and sometimes is just down right stupid.
But the beauty of this dance is while I sit in the midst of chaos of misunderstandings and behaviors driven by perceived pain, I find peace. I hear a higher calling for my goodness. I hear the whisper of God every day, telling me that this is releasing me from the pain of my past and is calling me to a higher faith.
I recall 18 years ago Reverend Michelle did a sermon and spoke to my heart and changed my life. She spoke of duality that is created by the pain in our minds. She said there is no such thing as good or bad happenings in our lives, but everything has singleness of purpose, everything is for our higher good, God is in everything.
She said, "It's not a freight train coming to run you over. It's light at the end of the tunnel".
I live this now. I am not without conflict or pain. The pain calls me forward to growth, but I am at peace inside during the silent hours of being exhausted by looking at my own pain and creation of it by the victim perspectives I carry from my past and my sometimes unwillingness to let go. Thank God, that I see God in everything. I have complete faith that as I continue to give up patterns of the past that a richer life waits ahead of me. I live in faith.
I have things to let go
I have things and people to forgive
I have people to bless
I have to practice daily
But I have peace in the midst of chaos because I know that God ultimately takes all of my messes and leverages them for my higher learning. This universe is always conspiring for my highest good. If I would just not feel the pull of stubbornness to protect myself at times, yes it would be easier. But I am not looking for easy, I am looking for love, experience, the richness of enlightenment.
I am one with my partner in crime. We are both of God and stand for love. So we both know that in times of struggle that we have spiritual oneness with the whole. We are one. And so it is.
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