http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGDA0Hecw1k
Dear Dad,
I write this to you today because I love you so much. I have no greater gift to give you.
I wanted to tell you the awareness that I have gotten in this life because of the work I do and have done on myself.
When we were growing up, mom was a bit broken, hurt from past experiences. She caused a lot of upset, pain and discomfort to us all. I get she was hurting. But what I learned as child was appalling.
What I remember is that “you were to blame”. Therapist, counselors used to say that Dad was the problem. He was mean. They actually trained our minds to not love you or dislike you. It is horrifying to get those kind of signals.
So what I have learned is that everyone has behaviors that are less than loving when they are stressed, fearful, trying to survive this thing called life, with the less than useful tools given during childhood.
What the counselors did not tell us, was that everyone was broken, hurt by the past, not given enough love to be like Jesus or Buddha. All we ever needed was understanding and love. Yet they taught us to hate and to be afraid.
All you ever needed was love. We all did. We needed to be accepted in those times of fear and……. the crying out was, really, “can you love me when I am imperfect”. The Real Love practice I teach now, teaches we all just needed that kind of love.
I can’t go back to the days of my childhood. I cannot fix what I did. I was definitely taught from a victim perspective that you were a bad guy. Yes, I know you showed up angry, but you really needed love. We beat the crap out of you. We killed you and you just kept providing and loving us, No matter what. As I am writing this right now, I am filled with so much love for you and at the same time remorse. All I have is such a deep appreciation for who you really are, Perfect and loving. You are a child of the divine. God made you perfectly. Others treated you badly. I treated you badly. All you ever wanted was to feel our love. All you ever deserved was to be loved. I am crying right now, because I held this back and it’s time to tell you.
All I give you now is love, a healed heart, a new way of seeing and deeply loving you. I have been withholding this message for you for a few weeks. I regret that now. I should have told you earlier. I heard a song this last weekend. The words are included here for you. This made me understand that every day is precious and I could not wait another day to tell you how much you mean to me.
With all my heart….I wanted to tell you “in the living years”.
Happy Father’s Day!
Love Sharon
In the living years By Mike and the Mechanics
Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door
I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years
Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I'm afraid that's all we've got
You say you just don't see it
He says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defense
Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye
So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It's the bitterness that lasts
So Don't yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you don't give up, and don't give in
You may just be O.K.
Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye
I wasn't there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say
I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I'm sure I heard his echo
In my baby's new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years
Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye
Dear Dad,
I write this to you today because I love you so much. I have no greater gift to give you.
I wanted to tell you the awareness that I have gotten in this life because of the work I do and have done on myself.
When we were growing up, mom was a bit broken, hurt from past experiences. She caused a lot of upset, pain and discomfort to us all. I get she was hurting. But what I learned as child was appalling.
What I remember is that “you were to blame”. Therapist, counselors used to say that Dad was the problem. He was mean. They actually trained our minds to not love you or dislike you. It is horrifying to get those kind of signals.
So what I have learned is that everyone has behaviors that are less than loving when they are stressed, fearful, trying to survive this thing called life, with the less than useful tools given during childhood.
What the counselors did not tell us, was that everyone was broken, hurt by the past, not given enough love to be like Jesus or Buddha. All we ever needed was understanding and love. Yet they taught us to hate and to be afraid.
All you ever needed was love. We all did. We needed to be accepted in those times of fear and……. the crying out was, really, “can you love me when I am imperfect”. The Real Love practice I teach now, teaches we all just needed that kind of love.
I can’t go back to the days of my childhood. I cannot fix what I did. I was definitely taught from a victim perspective that you were a bad guy. Yes, I know you showed up angry, but you really needed love. We beat the crap out of you. We killed you and you just kept providing and loving us, No matter what. As I am writing this right now, I am filled with so much love for you and at the same time remorse. All I have is such a deep appreciation for who you really are, Perfect and loving. You are a child of the divine. God made you perfectly. Others treated you badly. I treated you badly. All you ever wanted was to feel our love. All you ever deserved was to be loved. I am crying right now, because I held this back and it’s time to tell you.
All I give you now is love, a healed heart, a new way of seeing and deeply loving you. I have been withholding this message for you for a few weeks. I regret that now. I should have told you earlier. I heard a song this last weekend. The words are included here for you. This made me understand that every day is precious and I could not wait another day to tell you how much you mean to me.
With all my heart….I wanted to tell you “in the living years”.
Happy Father’s Day!
Love Sharon
In the living years By Mike and the Mechanics
Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door
I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years
Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I'm afraid that's all we've got
You say you just don't see it
He says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defense
Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye
So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It's the bitterness that lasts
So Don't yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you don't give up, and don't give in
You may just be O.K.
Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye
I wasn't there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say
I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I'm sure I heard his echo
In my baby's new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years
Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye
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