Skip to main content

Kids Immunization


A General Theory Of Love reveals that humans require social connection for optimal brain development, and that babies cared for in a loving environment are psychological and neurologically ‘immunized’ by love. When things get difficult in adult life, the neural wiring developed from a love-filled childhood leads to increased emotional resilience in adult life. Conversely, those who grow up in an environment where loving care is unstable or absent are less likely to be resilient in the face of emotional distress.
 
When two parents are not on the same page and children don’t have a sense of predictability, a routine they can depend on then they feel a sense of insecurity and anxiety will grow. If one parent is the playful one allowing fun and excitement and only occasionally as that parent is absent often, then they learn to desire that as an addiction. They want the imitation love of fun and excitement over the parent who may be trying to create the sense of real safety they need. When they don’t get the underlying false sense of love they act out and usually parents get frustrated or punish them.
 
The parent who is more structured begins to be the parent who is the enemy and there is a lost bond. The children don’t feel connected. The fun parent helps them build a false bond to imitation love. They feel anxious when they don’t get it and hate the real love from the other parent. Usually the structured parent begins to feel anxious and also contributes to the overwhelm of the children to feel a lack of connection in the world.
 
Both parents no matter what has to be on the same page. Children need their world to be completely predictable and no tension between the parents agreements. Both are speaking the same language.
The fun parent may be childlike and uncapable of having routines and find it confining. The fun parent may be doing it to get praise and adoration from the children. The children learn fear and anxiety that predictably will result in an obscure ideal of love and a false sense of safety in the world.
My daddy loved me alot and mom was a bitch. Neither are true.
 
This is harmful to a child who then has lost the bonds to both parents, feeling love from no place at all.
 
Sharon Winningham

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

January 2009 Well, I have truly been the success story. I was getting divorced the first time I went to a Real Love Seminar some four years ago at New Vision (2005) Everything in my life was falling apart. I lost a bunch, especially being a Realtor. I went through the Real Love host training way back when with Reverend Michelle, went to another intensive weekend, continued to grow and now have a thriving, growing, rockin’ out Real Love co-ed group. I still want and yearn to do something with the teen kids. I now find myself 1-2 nights a week visiting with couples, having one on ones talking about the principals. They grow and find happiness……………..WOW……..I am so thankful. During the rough times, I almost lost my son. Ready to put him on a plane to his dad’s, I instead called and got a real love coach. It saved our lives. 2 months with Daphne Rocked! So now today, I live in a loving relationship, married to a man that firmly believes and practices real love principles. I joke with hi...

Spritual Oneness

I am truly one in God with my partner.  There is no separation  between us in the good, bad, or the ugly.  There is so much beauty in the conflict we share.  Sometimes it's cutting, sometimes is slight, and sometimes is just down right stupid.  But the beauty of this dance is while I sit in the midst of chaos of misunderstandings and behaviors driven by perceived pain, I find peace.  I hear a higher calling for my goodness.  I hear the whisper of God every day, telling me that this is releasing me from the pain of my past and is calling me to a higher faith.  I recall 18 years ago Reverend Michelle did a sermon and spoke to my heart and changed my life.  She spoke of duality that is created by the pain in our minds.  She said there is no such thing as good or bad happenings in our lives, but everything has singleness of purpose, everything is for our higher good, God is in everything. She said, "It's not a freight train coming ...

Trick or Treat!

Will you get tricked or treated? The dictionary defines trick as an act or a procedure intended to achieve an end by deceptive or fraudulent means. One of the definitions of treat is to give (someone or oneself) something pleasurable. Often pleasure is considered the treat and the denial of pleasure the trick. The truth is often the reverse. Short term pleasure often results in long term pain. A bag full of instant pleasure often rots out teeth, promotes diabetes and adds unhealthy weight. A bed full of pleasure can ruin marriages, cause unwanted pregnancy and disease. A bottle or syringe full of pleasure can cost you your job, reputation and freedom. Trick or treat was not the original nor current deception. The real trick is Trick AND Treat.