Skip to main content

Posts

GUT-WRENCHING LOVE

  Gut- Wrenching Love   I just listened to Jason Mraz’s song “Love is Still the Answer”.   I cried.   My heart wept and my eyes did a lot of leaking.   My heart is open wide.     And I remembered love.   Big Love.    I witnessed in the video all kinds of crazy, romantic, sexy, creative God-like love of beaches, nature, clouds, baby’s feet, sharing, a wedding, Gay love, Straight love, love of our children, painting, yoga, music, dancing, playfulness, ice-skating, biking, ballet, fireworks , old age love…well, you get the gist.   You should watch.   You too will cry and remember that love is still the answer.   I am here to share that there was a moment in my life when I chose a different kind of love.   It’s the kind of love that is gut wrenching.   It’s the kind of love that you have to dig down deep into your worn torn heart and find the courage to do the right thing, to choose love.   November before the Pandemic hit, I found my husband, whom I had just married two months pri
Post a Comment
Read more
Recent posts

Truth Will Set You Free - on way or another!

Truth Will Set You Free - one way or another!  I am so happy that my outlook in life is always finding the truth and being grateful that we teach “the truth will always bubble to the top”.   I knew that David and I had struggled hard to keep moving forward in our lives together. We worked diligently forward every day.   The brilliant part it that the truth will always be revealed.    He loved me but really desired someone his own age.   Nothing wrong with that. I wanted someone my own age.   It caused me great pain to never really bond the way a real couple is supposed to. I had that kind of passionate love in my past and it was painful living without it no matter how wonderful we became to each other.   When the truth comes sometimes for you both to finally stop living a lie because we don’t want to lose the perceived safety we both have and a great life we have - the truth can be very messy, devastating, sweep you off your feet, knock you sideways and terrorize your safety.
Post a Comment
Read more

The love we fail to share is the only pain we live with.

The love we fail to share is the only pain we live with.    My partner and I have had one major issue lingering over us for many years.   We both have been so confused and hurt that we withdrew from the topic completely both feeling afraid of the other.   Wounded and confused by the others actions we had a truce of no communication around it.  But a truce is nothing more than pain put on hold.     Being afraid to talk to your partner about a topic can be very painful and if it lasts it can wear deeply on a relationship.     My partner decided to broach the subject with me and kept repeating that he wanted to bridge this gap.   I noticed my brain kept wanting to defend that truth.   For years I believed something different.   As I listened to the commitment from my partner something snapped.   But it took 24 hours to process the change.     I had lived in this topic for so long believing I was a victim to a lie.   My partner was just afraid.   And I couldn’t see i
Post a Comment
Read more

Uncoupling – DIVORCE – the end? Or A Sacred Journey?

Uncoupling – DIVORCE – the end?   Or a Sacred Journey? Let me makes this perfectly clear. There is always sadness when something had to end.   People often talk about the five  stages of grief  – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.  Get over it.   You are human and so am I. You are going to feel it all!     It’s been proven that we move through these stages and also predictable that we struggle to move through them, afraid of what is to come.     We may want to negotiate and cling staying in the loop of not moving forward.     Bottom line is that we are just trying to stave off having to be sad and move on.   We are afraid of the feelings and afraid of the future.   I just want to say one thing today. Most of us have had hellacious relationships and bad endings.   But just because something ends, it doesn’t mean it’s a horrendous ending.   We grow in every relationship and sometimes it’s time to move on.   Consciously we can do it with lo
Post a Comment
Read more
What is a Sacred Clown?   Every native tribe of Indians had a position of “scared clown”.   This position was held on high.   Someone who would taunt and tantalize your insides to go within to see what was left to heal.   They all had different names for them, but they all had them.   From north all the way to south America they all had them.   Everyone hoped that the sacred clown would come to them so they could grow.   What a healthy alternative to medicating pain.   Sacred Warrior. To Native Americans, the path of the Sacred Clown is ALSO considered a spiritual calling, essential to the smooth functioning of the tribe: In the days before the invaders came. . .we had clowns. Not clowns like you see now, with round red noses and baggy costumes. Our clowns wore all kinds of stuff. Anythin’ they felt like, they wore. And they didn’t just come out once in a while to act silly and make people laugh, our clowns were with us all the time, as important to the village as the c
Post a Comment
Read more

12 Step and Victimhood

Question?   Just to run something by you and be seen.   I get a lot out of the fellowship from 12 step meetings but in my heart and gut something doesn’t feel right. They want me to admit that I have a disease and I’m powerless over it. I don’t really believe that. Feels like victimhood. Thoughts? Every faith tradition, sacred text, healing modality and 12 step teaching all have elements that can be translated as the same.   It’s either about love or fear, the two powers that either heal or destroy. If you take a little time to translate the meaning then you will see they all are saying the same things.   Truth really is truth just as electricity always works the same.   Sometimes what stumps us is the meaning of words that have been used in a harmful way towards us and we reject the truth that is in that system, modality or teaching.   Twelve step programs do have a languaging that is hard for some of us in Loving-groups.   We do not believe we are powerless over
Post a Comment
Read more

Mass Shootings

Mass shootings and Facebook   Why bother when we just keep fighting?  Isn't there a lesson in there somewhere?  Duh?   What is the purpose of staying "in the conversation"? Collectively, If we are in the mind frame of wanting more goodness to emerge then being in the conversation may help us in our collective consciousness find the answers together. If we can get past the emotional REACTIONS to just hearing and having curiosity for others opinions, we can find similarities and answers. We are all wanting peace, safety and security for all. If we will just stop the hatred in the conversation and actually have more curiosity for what the other is saying we just might find answers vs conflict. Take a check on yourself while you are posting. Do you just want a fight or do you really want real solutions? Being at war never really served anyone. But remember one thing, if you grew up fighting for your good and never consciously wanted to change that and rewire your brain
Post a Comment
Read more