I am love

I once loved someone so much I wanted to prove my love for them




I once loved someone so much that I allowed them to tell me I was wrong



I once love someone so much that I believed the lie that while telling me that I needed to work harder to take care of them that I believed I was never good enough



I once loved someone so much that I believed them when they told me what I needed to do to be a good girl



I once loved someone so much that they had control over my life



I once loved someone so much that I became angry and afraid



I once loved someone so much that I believed all the lies they carried with them



I once loved someone so much that I believed they were my God



I once loved someone so much that I never saw their pain and took it on as mine



I once loved someone so much that I became terrified and became their pain



I once loved me so much that I let others see me



I once loved me so much that I began to see my own light



I once loved me so much that love turned off the pain and I began to be less fearful



I once loved me so much I felt a deep longing in life for innocence and grace



I once loved me so much that I believed there was more than fear and terror



I love myself now and know that it is because others loved me, because I was innocent and didn’t not know the difference



I love myself now and know that the fear was not something that was of me, just taught to me by others that were in fear



I love myself now enough to know the difference when I see it



I love myself now enough to know that terror in others is about them, not me



I love myself now enough to know where to find the real love I want



It is not with the wounded, it is not with the liars, attackers, clingers, runners and victims



It is not with the wounded who want to control me and tell me that I am bad, that is not love

It is not with the wounded who deliver fear to me on a silver platter so I can imprint more fear into my DNA



It is not with the wounded who use me for their own safety and pleasure



The love I have inside me and my worth is my inheritance



The love I have inside me and my worth came to light when others loved me in my pain



The love I have inside has always been there



The love I have inside me comes from God and is one with God



The love I have inside me never dies and is one with the all



The love I have inside me will never die



And to all those who hurt me, I say, you were never taught anything more then what I was taught.



And to all those who hurt me, I say, you have a light that is your inheritance



And to all those who hurt me, it was about your pain and you never meant to hurt me



And to all those who hurt me, I can never forgive you, for that is arrogant to think you ever needed my approval or forgiveness. You just needed my love.



And while we exchange the fear back and forth, I have learned that it never works.



Only love can heal the broken hearts.



I love all of you.



The ones who wounded me in the beginning

The ones I then went on to wound

The ones who danced with me the wounded dance of “trying”

The ones who tired to honestly and sincerely love me

But I say to you today, it never would have worked

Because I needed to know I was love first.



I do now. It was never anyone’s fault.



I have learned to love me, I am enough.