Skip to main content

I am love

I once loved someone so much I wanted to prove my love for them




I once loved someone so much that I allowed them to tell me I was wrong



I once love someone so much that I believed the lie that while telling me that I needed to work harder to take care of them that I believed I was never good enough



I once loved someone so much that I believed them when they told me what I needed to do to be a good girl



I once loved someone so much that they had control over my life



I once loved someone so much that I became angry and afraid



I once loved someone so much that I believed all the lies they carried with them



I once loved someone so much that I believed they were my God



I once loved someone so much that I never saw their pain and took it on as mine



I once loved someone so much that I became terrified and became their pain



I once loved me so much that I let others see me



I once loved me so much that I began to see my own light



I once loved me so much that love turned off the pain and I began to be less fearful



I once loved me so much I felt a deep longing in life for innocence and grace



I once loved me so much that I believed there was more than fear and terror



I love myself now and know that it is because others loved me, because I was innocent and didn’t not know the difference



I love myself now and know that the fear was not something that was of me, just taught to me by others that were in fear



I love myself now enough to know the difference when I see it



I love myself now enough to know that terror in others is about them, not me



I love myself now enough to know where to find the real love I want



It is not with the wounded, it is not with the liars, attackers, clingers, runners and victims



It is not with the wounded who want to control me and tell me that I am bad, that is not love

It is not with the wounded who deliver fear to me on a silver platter so I can imprint more fear into my DNA



It is not with the wounded who use me for their own safety and pleasure



The love I have inside me and my worth is my inheritance



The love I have inside me and my worth came to light when others loved me in my pain



The love I have inside has always been there



The love I have inside me comes from God and is one with God



The love I have inside me never dies and is one with the all



The love I have inside me will never die



And to all those who hurt me, I say, you were never taught anything more then what I was taught.



And to all those who hurt me, I say, you have a light that is your inheritance



And to all those who hurt me, it was about your pain and you never meant to hurt me



And to all those who hurt me, I can never forgive you, for that is arrogant to think you ever needed my approval or forgiveness. You just needed my love.



And while we exchange the fear back and forth, I have learned that it never works.



Only love can heal the broken hearts.



I love all of you.



The ones who wounded me in the beginning

The ones I then went on to wound

The ones who danced with me the wounded dance of “trying”

The ones who tired to honestly and sincerely love me

But I say to you today, it never would have worked

Because I needed to know I was love first.



I do now. It was never anyone’s fault.



I have learned to love me, I am enough.







Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

January 2009 Well, I have truly been the success story. I was getting divorced the first time I went to a Real Love Seminar some four years ago at New Vision (2005) Everything in my life was falling apart. I lost a bunch, especially being a Realtor. I went through the Real Love host training way back when with Reverend Michelle, went to another intensive weekend, continued to grow and now have a thriving, growing, rockin’ out Real Love co-ed group. I still want and yearn to do something with the teen kids. I now find myself 1-2 nights a week visiting with couples, having one on ones talking about the principals. They grow and find happiness……………..WOW……..I am so thankful. During the rough times, I almost lost my son. Ready to put him on a plane to his dad’s, I instead called and got a real love coach. It saved our lives. 2 months with Daphne Rocked! So now today, I live in a loving relationship, married to a man that firmly believes and practices real love principles. I joke with hi...
Post a Comment
Read more

Spritual Oneness

I am truly one in God with my partner.  There is no separation  between us in the good, bad, or the ugly.  There is so much beauty in the conflict we share.  Sometimes it's cutting, sometimes is slight, and sometimes is just down right stupid.  But the beauty of this dance is while I sit in the midst of chaos of misunderstandings and behaviors driven by perceived pain, I find peace.  I hear a higher calling for my goodness.  I hear the whisper of God every day, telling me that this is releasing me from the pain of my past and is calling me to a higher faith.  I recall 18 years ago Reverend Michelle did a sermon and spoke to my heart and changed my life.  She spoke of duality that is created by the pain in our minds.  She said there is no such thing as good or bad happenings in our lives, but everything has singleness of purpose, everything is for our higher good, God is in everything. She said, "It's not a freight train coming ...
2 comments
Read more

High Heel Foot Prints

  High Heel Foot Prints I met an older Polish woman in a blood lab of all places.  I was waiting to get some blood drawn.  She was very elegant, although her body had clearly shown signs of the years gone by.  Much as you can imagine by the image shown here.  Her whole body was failing her.  She had on very fashionable clothes with a glitzy hair comb in her hair.  You could tell that she tool a lot of pride in her looks as her make up was applied with great care.  He outfit was stunning.  She walked with a cane and sat down across the room from me.  I noticed that she kept staring at me.  I was dressed up with makeup on and in high heels, a long skirt and a top that made me look very curvy and classy.  I was reading a magazine and she whispered to me, "miss, miss.....you are very beautiful, so beautiful".   I thanked her and moved across the room to speak to her.  I sat next to her and she admi...
Post a Comment
Read more