Personal Blog~Sharon Stephens - Life Coach

  Over the years I have seen trends that occur over and over.  People read the real love book and like the principles, but without practice nothing changes.  This practice is vital.  We cannot change unless we find more love for ourselves.   That takes "truth>seen>accepted>love.  This takes practice.  Most people believe they are very "truthful".  As Greg points out, truthful about other's is not the way to find love for ourselves.  I grew up being taught an emotional language that was very dysfunctional.  I will call it "English".  I learned a new language with real love practice.  I will call it "Spanish".  Reading the Real Love book is like reading a book that tells us about "Spanish".  I could not learn the language by reading about it. This is a really hard way to learn a new language.  I have actually, for many years and after many attempts of study and pr...

I have an excuse for everything. I cannot write because I have no talent. I have so much to share but who would really listen. I am not smart so what would I really have to say. My son made it very clear that I have an excuse for everything and I don’t make choices. I teach this stuff. How can he be so wise for me? We can’t see ourselves. Victimhood was taught to me by mommie dearest. My son chose to love me enough to call me on it. I have never been able to see my worth. Although I have helped hundreds of people change their lives, I have hung on to old lies taught to me by drowning people who could not love me. I raised a great son and in my thinking then, I have served my purpose. In light of a recent occurrence in our community, a dear loved one took their own life; I contemplated that CHOICE we all have. I contemplated that choice as a one of freedom from pain and why could I not make that choice? In that cry to understand why that seemed to be a valid choice I cri...

Gossip as Attacking Has anyone really discovered as I have, that gossiping under the guise of being seen is attacking? So sometimes we just gossip when we are empty. This is not respecting other people's privacy and their journey. Usually we do it because we have been hurt by them. Do you see yourself doing this? We can usually track it back to our own acting like a victim and choices we made. Also as a part of that victimhood we can also be telling our truths to get seen, but we focus more on the story of what they did and not our own behaviors. I have seen myself do it. That is acting like a victim. So be very careful when wanting to get seen that it is not just a ploy for attacking them (gossiping) telling more of what they did versus what your behaviors were. I am guilty of it at times. Are you? As our community get's bigger and bigger and there are more people "finding" each other to date, as the "pool" has gotten bigger, then b...

It's been coming up allot lately in all my conversations with Real Love clients and other wise people AND personally for me. We, the smart people of the world, use our intellect to be strong and powerful.  What an illusion this is.  The power piece can be used to deflect the REAL LOVE we need and deserve in situations. Strong people can take allot, but are they really getting the love they need in times of vulnerability or do they stay strong to keep up the facade.  There is a real truth to all of us and that is that we are powerful and also vulnerable.  There is not one without the other.  But if all we show is the power side to protect ourselves, then every time we need love we never let it in. So powerful creators vs vulnerable people.  There is not conflict here. Both are elements of the whole.  We are both.  We can have it all.  We can be powerful and vulnerable.  We have both of those in the WHOLENESS of who...

I once loved someone so much I wanted to prove my love for them I once loved someone so much that I allowed them to tell me I was wrong I once love someone so much that I believed the lie that while telling me that I needed to work harder to take care of them that I believed I was never good enough I once loved someone so much that I believed them when they told me what I needed to do to be a good girl I once loved someone so much that they had control over my life I once loved someone so much that I became angry and afraid I once loved someone so much that I believed all the lies they carried with them I once loved someone so much that I believed they were my God I once loved someone so much that I never saw their pain and took it on as mine I once loved someone so much that I became terrified and became their pain I once loved me so much that I let others see me I once loved me so much that I began to see my own light I once loved me s...

  Can people be a gift?  This growing, stretching and learning stuff is awesome and sometimes painful.  I sail along sometimes in life and do really well and then.....I get triggered.  I always remember that the trigger is a gift.  But while you are in the thick of things, it's not always instant gratitude.  POOP. I just want to remember daily that I would not be me if it weren't for every percieved "bad" happening in my life.  I don't believe in the duality of things.  I really have always belived that everything is a gift to call me to my potential. I belive in the singleness of purpose in every happening.  God is in everything.  God is Law and love would never give me anything if it was not for my highest good.  If I keep hitting the same roadblocks, then I am not listening to the lesson that is in it for me.  I have learned something that is the most valuable lesson for me in life.  It is this thing called l...

Today was a day mixed with joy and grief.  I loved a man the best I could.  It wasn't enough.  I realize that it was not about me not being enough, good enough, not giving enough.  Being with someone who cannot trust in love, in the process of love, cannot see any brilliance standing in front of him, is hard.  I believe that I am enough just the way I am.  The tough part is watching/loving someone who does not feel that about themselves.  It's like watching someone die.  And I know that letting go is letting God.  I have faith that what I cannot do, God can.  I love you..Sharon