Personal Blog~Sharon Stephens - Life Coach

What is a Sacred Clown?   Every native tribe of Indians had a position of “scared clown”.   This position was held on high.   Someone who would taunt and tantalize your insides to go within to see what was left to heal.   They all had different names for them, but they all had them.   From north all the way to south America they all had them.   Everyone hoped that the sacred clown would come to them so they could grow.   What a healthy alternative to medicating pain.   Sacred Warrior. To Native Americans, the path of the Sacred Clown is ALSO considered a spiritual calling, essential to the smooth functioning of the tribe: In the days before the invaders came. . .we had clowns. Not clowns like you see now, with round red noses and baggy costumes. Our clowns wore all kinds of stuff. Anythin’ they felt like, they wore. And they didn’t just come out once in a while to act silly and make people laugh, our clowns were with us all the tim...

Question?   Just to run something by you and be seen.   I get a lot out of the fellowship from 12 step meetings but in my heart and gut something doesn’t feel right. They want me to admit that I have a disease and I’m powerless over it. I don’t really believe that. Feels like victimhood. Thoughts? Every faith tradition, sacred text, healing modality and 12 step teaching all have elements that can be translated as the same.   It’s either about love or fear, the two powers that either heal or destroy. If you take a little time to translate the meaning then you will see they all are saying the same things.   Truth really is truth just as electricity always works the same.   Sometimes what stumps us is the meaning of words that have been used in a harmful way towards us and we reject the truth that is in that system, modality or teaching.   Twelve step programs do have a languaging that is hard for some of us in Loving-groups.   We do...

Mass shootings and Facebook   Why bother when we just keep fighting?  Isn't there a lesson in there somewhere?  Duh?   What is the purpose of staying "in the conversation"? Collectively, If we are in the mind frame of wanting more goodness to emerge then being in the conversation may help us in our collective consciousness find the answers together. If we can get past the emotional REACTIONS to just hearing and having curiosity for others opinions, we can find similarities and answers. We are all wanting peace, safety and security for all. If we will just stop the hatred in the conversation and actually have more curiosity for what the other is saying we just might find answers vs conflict. Take a check on yourself while you are posting. Do you just want a fight or do you really want real solutions? Being at war never really served anyone. But remember one thing, if you grew up fighting for your good and never consciously wanted to change that and re...

Most of us at one time or another have been faced with the idea of “I am single…AGAIN!” With divorce rates in the toilet and the blame game running rampant, most people have turned to friends, colleagues, parents, grandparents and even expensive dating professional match making companies for advice. And you know what? Most people are still stumped, dumbfounded and deeply discouraged.   We are met with all kinds of advice including an old favorite book I read years ago call “The Rules”. In the book it lists 35 rules that women who want “marriage, in the shortest time possible” are supposed to follow. As a blogger, Kristin Warkentin , wrote in her blog, “that  written in the 1990’s, it included  advice that was both basic and whimsical, like advice from a well-meaning but slightly unhinged 90-year-old great aunt, offering one of those “pep talks” that actually make you feel worse, rather than better. (“Well you’re no Angelina Jolie, dear, but with t...

A General Theory Of Love reveals that humans require social connection for optimal brain development, and that babies cared for in a loving environment are psychological and neurologically ‘immunized’ by love. When things get difficult in adult life, the neural wiring developed from a love-filled childhood leads to increased emotional resilience in adult life. Conversely, those who grow up in an environment where loving care is unstable or absent are less likely to be resilie nt in the face of emotional distress.   When two parents are not on the same page and children don’t have a sense of predictability, a routine they can depend on then they feel a sense of insecurity and anxiety will grow. If one parent is the playful one allowing fun and excitement and only occasionally as that parent is absent often, then they learn to desire that as an addiction. They want the imitation love of fun and excitement over the parent who may be trying to create the sense of real safety ...

There was a pivotal day in the life with my son when I knew I had changed long enough for him to know it.   The dynamic needed to now be equalized.     He kept wanting to take it out on me. I got in his face.   (with confidence)    I told him this:      “You don’t get to beat me up forever and be happy.   Learning to love another will make you happy and like it or not there will be things that you will never like about me and that is just tough.   I will make mistakes.   But one thing you know for sure is that I will always try.   So you were victimized.   You don’t get to act like a victim and punish me the rest of your life. If you want to do that, then we won’t have a relationship at all.   I am human and will make mistakes. I am not going to walk on eggshells anymore.”   He got it.   He grew up and learned to love. We cannot teach them to just feel loved.   We have ...

The Stars Above I watch over and over again in people’s lives “stars aligning” in a way that can give them the life they have always wanted.  And yet while I can see it and I can tell they can see it too, they run.  They run from the very thing that they want.  They want a way through.  But they are afraid.  They want easy or they want safe.  None of these are possible as they are all an illusion. They have tried everything in the world from sex, money, flirting with danger, pills, rehab, driving fast, endless therapy, anger and shoplifting.  But I will be "gosh darned" if they choose happiness as their first pick.  Why?  Most people have never felt that.  They feel the empty hole of love lost and days gone by.   The hardest thing for a human to learn to do is sit with the pain of our past and meet it head on.  Not because it’s such a scary thing because our brain fights against it.  Our brain will actually ...